The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I don't normally enter a season of the year with a specific prayer. I think life is more fluid than that. But I am walking into this summer with a specific prayer in my heart and mind. My prayer is that God shows me the light at the end of the tunnel. Let me explain.

The light is a renewed, refreshed and refocused relationship with Jackson. The tunnel is the difficult times we've been having lately. Ok. Maybe that sounds a little harsh. It's not like we're estranged. We still play ball together, wrestle around and laugh at all the bathroom humor that is part of our family. He even asked me today when we could go down that bike path again together.

But there have been those times. You know. Those times. (Carissa says that we don't butt heads. She says we are buttheads.)

So this summer I'm praying for God to help me be the father Jackson needs, because the father he needs now isn't necessarily the father he's needed up to this point in his life. I'm praying that I can be the father who can continue to teach him discipline without being overbearing. The father who can be stern without being a jerk. The father he can turn to for anything at anytime and know that nothing will change my love for him.

Essentially, I'm praying that God uses me to show Jackson a little glimpse of Him. I guess it's really the same prayer I've had since the day he was born, when the light was all I could see.

And right now, he (Jackson, though I'm pretty sure God is there too) is in the living room playing a game with Carissa. And the laughter that is coming from that room is a reminder that he's still the sweet boy I've always known. He's still the one that I'm called to raise into manhood. And right now, God is showing me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.