It's A Hard Question To Ask

Would I sacrifice my relationship with God in order to be more comfortable in this lifetime?

I ran across this question the other day. And immediately I thought, "Of course not!"

That was before I really thought about it.

Most of my relationship with God is contingent upon the fact that I need him. In fact, my entire relationship with God is contingent on that fact.

I need his Son.
I need his love.
I need his grace.
I need his guidance.
I need his hope.
I need his patience.
And I need his forgiveness ... forgiveness for things that are in my life that I know shouldn't be. And if those things were gone and no longer needed forgiving; if he somehow magically fixed them, would it change my relationship with him?

There are behaviors, actions, and thoughts that I ask God to remove from my life all the time. They are struggles for me. I know they aren't good for me. I know they keep me from experiencing the most out of life. So, I often ask him, beg him and plead for him to just remove them. I want God to clear them out of the way of that path he wants me to take.

But there's another aspect to the things I struggle with. I think they help keep me tethered to God.

I'm not saying those things are good in any way. They aren't. They are, simply put, sin. But if those things were magically gone, I have to ask myself, would I still remain as tethered to him as I am? Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe the answer is that I would, just in a different way. Maybe God allows me to struggle with certain things now in order to remain tethered to him so that when they aren't a part of my life, I'll remain tethered to him for other reasons.

I don't pretend to have it all figured out. And if anyone does, they're lying to you. It's just something that got me thinking.

It's a hard question to ask. It's a even harder question to answer.